I, Sara Abigail Walker Petkoff, have loved music for as long as I can possibly remember. It stirs something deep inside of me that nothing else does. Music makes me feel fully alive, deeply Spiritual, and as if God Himself is in the room. Apparently, even in the womb, my mom said that when the music would get started at church, I would start doing somersaults. I just can’t help it.

As a little girl, I didn’t carry around a baby doll and play “mommy” with my sister and friends. Instead,  I always had a whisk clenched in my chubby little hand that was my “microphone” so I could play “singer”. 

I realize this makes me “abnormal” at best, compared to other women, especially at my age, but I’m afraid it is just who I am. Even as a young child, I loved to sing my heart out and re-write songs according to my toddler’s artistic interpretation. (I did a mean cover and re-write of “Away In The Manger” on the stairs of my Mimi’s house while she accompanied me from the piano as a 3 year old. We have it on tape unfortunately- Hah!)

The dream of singing my heart out and connecting with people in song has haunted me my entire life- always seeming out of reach, and reserved for those with jaw dropping talent. However, after a great deal of emotional, spiritual, and personal work, today, TODAY I am ready to walk out the gift God has given me both in dream and talent. 

I finally know who I am, what I want to say, and how I want to say it. 

Look- I am a strong, sassy, Southern-Loving, and strong-willed woman who has some things to say! You can take them or leave them,  but we are going to have some fun while I say them! Hah!

My new music is a celebration of real women - who are neither feminists, nor victims. It is a humorous exclamation of women who have a mind of their own, love hard, and who are able to enjoy life by being able to laugh at themselves. 

 

NOW, FOR THE STORY BEHIND THE SONG I'M GROWN:

"I’m Grown" was actually written well over 3 whole years ago. Craziness. But, I had a hard time getting people on board with it for some reason. :)  It was honestly written out of general frustration with the world’s notion of love, as the radio was filled with starry-eyed, knight-in-shining-armor-demanding, "come save me from my disappointment of men" tunes by various female artists. Now, I’m sorry, but - No.Ma’am. Though they are sweet songs for young girls, they are not the anthems of true women, and I was tired of hearing the whining that followed after no one was able to save them. 

I sort of fantasized about what my conversation would be with the kind of “loves” that these girls kept singing about and I started laughing and writing. As if the male star from one of T-Swift’s music videos got lost in my world and he was frantically trying to save me….Poor kid, he just didn’t know I did NOT want nor need saving. Because, my dear friends, I’ve worked hard my whole life to be able to say- “I’m Grown”. You can read the conversation in my head via my lyrics here…

I’m not one for fairytales. I’m not some princess who’s in need of being rescued. I’m not some damsel in distress, and all your fussing now is causing me such stress.

Baby won’t you stop trying to rescue me, I’m fine on my own. I didn’t ask you to come save me, I can handle it, I’m grown. Well I know it makes you feel so strong to find someone who needs your love. Well move on, well move on, well move on… I didn’t call for no hero.

I don’t mean to hurt your pride. I just get tired of all these boys who try to fly. They scoop you up, then they drop you down. Not strong enough, tumble to the ground. I worked so hard to be this strong, try to save me, then you’ve got me wrong! 

Baby won’t you stop trying to rescue me, I’m fine on my own. I didn’t ask you to come save me, I can handle it, I’m grown. Well I know it makes you feel so strong to find someone who needs your love. Well move on, well move on, well move on… I didn’t call for no hero.

Baby won’t you stop, baby won’t you stop, baby won’t you stop trying to rescue me (repeat).

I just wanna, I just wanna love you.

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna owe you.

YOU CAN SEE/HEAR THE VIDEO HERE——- https://vimeo.com/56615539

Now- hear me out. I am not a man - hater, nor am I a “women don’t need men” kind of crazy. I AM however a passionate propionate of women owning their lives, and spending their days working hard to be better, get more emotionally healthy, and living a life they are proud of and satisfied by without a man. THEN when a man comes into your life, he doesn’t “complete you” because you aren’t whole, he is a blessing to you and something you treasure, rather than cling to for life. This is a much more honorable and fulfilling pursuit than daydreaming of a shirtless Channing Tatum riding up on a horse to save you from your debt, unhealth, and disappointment in life. 

If you want a good man, then ladies, work your tail off at being someone that would be compatible with a person so great. You can’t “earn” a husband, but you can certainly scare good men away by constantly throwing them your “rescue me” life rafts, foolishly thinking a healthy relationship can be borne out of desperation. 

Obviously this whole song was written “tongue in cheek”, and I hope you all are able to understand the humor and heart behind it. I was raised by one of the strongest men on this earth, and instead of teaching me to be dependent on him and helpless, he worked hard to teach my sister and I how to be strong. I am eternally grateful to him for it.  I learned how to start a fire by myself, shoot a gun, play classical piano, mow the lawn, play dress up, and bake cookies ALL in my childhood. That doesn’t make me a feminist, it makes me strong, proud, and healthy, and in my opinion, that’s something to write a damn good song about.  :) 

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